


Under The Covers

by Inkly



Series: Sabkha [2]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Genji Shimada is a Little Shit, Hanzo gets manhandled by an old woman, Humor, Multi, Not Beta Read, listen poor Hanzo alright
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-12 10:26:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15993296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkly/pseuds/Inkly
Summary: "It seems that the easiest way to get access to Ambrose’s private computer would be to-“ Genji howled. Jesse looked vaguely prepared for something appropriately alarming. “go undercover as a…. sugar baby.”Stony faced, he waited for the wave of laughter at his expense to quiet.





	Under The Covers

Winston cleared his throat and everyone fell quiet.

"We- uh, that is Athena, intercepted an encoded message three days ago. We are certain that it was from Talon, and it was directed to the Ambrose Cosmetics Company. Uvina Ambrose is their founder and used to be the CEO, but we started a background on her. Ambrose isn't as retired as everyone thought she was.

We found evidence of human testing with non-cosmetic materials and mention of Dr. O’Deorain. Whatever Ambrose Cosmetics has been doing for Talon under the table has been going on for years, but everything particularly incriminating is buried in code and heavily encrypted."

Angela set her coffee mug down. "Why would a cosmetics company be in contact with a geneticist? And what sort of non-cosmetics?" 

Winston shifted in his tire swing, "We aren't completely sure. Athena found many references to batch testing in reference to eyeshadow palettes, but the detailed files are completely encrypted. Ambrose hasn't been personally involved in the production of their eyeshadows for a few years now since they contract out to a different lab. Athena would have better luck getting information if she was hardlined into the main computer the files were hosted on."

“So this is an infiltration mission?” Hanzo queried, glancing at Winston. Jesse leaned back in his chair and Hanzo could feel a slight nudge against his feet.

Winston gave a lopsided smile. “Ah- huhm, that is what I had in mind yes. And it’s a good thing that you brought it up because I had you in mind for- actually, here.” And he pushed over a tablet.

Hanzo flipped it open and halfheartedly listened to everyone else discuss Moira. He remembered Reaper in an underground bunker, orange light, and medical documents. Talon had a thumb in every pie cooling on a windowsill Jesse had said once. It was never surprising to find some new obscure link to the organization as more time went on.

As he read the mission brief his eyebrows started getting closer and it wasn’t long before someone noticed.

“What’s wrong?” Genji asked, his green lights brightening and dimming in a wave. Winston fidgeted.

“I mean- The mission is open to anyone willing and able. It is just. Uvina has a specific taste that is well documented in any tabloid you can see online.”

Genji’s lights already started to brighten and Hanzo shot him an unimpressed look. It didn’t stop him from starting to cackle knowingly.

“It seems that the easiest way to get access to Ambrose’s private computer would be to-“ Genji howled. Jesse looked vaguely prepared for something appropriately alarming. “go undercover as a…. sugar baby.”

Stony faced, he waited for the wave of laughter at his expense to quiet.

“I would like to remind you that Genji has extensive experience with such things.” He discreetly angled the mission brief towards his brother.

Winston looked regretful enough that, if Hanzo did not know him well enough, he would almost believe it. He knew better though.

“She is very anti-omnic. It would seem that they are harder to market cosmetics to.”

“Of course. It would seem so.”

“You would not be alone of course.”

“I believe you said that this mission was open to anyone.”

“Uhm. Anyone with sufficient experience with espionage.”

“McCree is available.”

“Too scruffy.”

“Soldier:76.”

“Too old. Same for Reinhardt.” They ignored the grumble that came from Reinhardt’s general direction. Ana gently patted him on his arm.

“Lucio.”

“Lucio is currently under supervision with Angela for medical support training.”

“It would seem that I am the only choice.”

“So it would seem.”

And that is how Hanzo found himself in a too cramped hotel with Jesse with three suits and a shitty van for them to stakeout in. He sighed into the shower spray, his dress clothes neatly laid out with expensive cologne he hadn’t used in years. He could hear Jesse whistling as he set up his equipment and checked that their earpieces were working correctly.

Scrubbing a hand through his hair he tried to remember the last time he went undercover and blanked. Jesse fell quiet in their main room.

“You’re thinkin’ too hard, Han.” He said, leaning against the bathroom’s doorframe. “It’ll be real simple in an’ out mission. ‘Sides, I’ll be listenin’ the whole time.”

“I cannot imagine anything worse.” Hanzo said, shutting off the hot water. “It is enough that Winston will be reading a report of everything.”

“Aw com’on now.” Hanzo grabbed the towel that Jesse passed to him.

“Thank you. Jesse the last time I was manhandled by a old woman was when I was 15 and I got in trouble because Genji ripped the arm of her kimono off. _I_ got in trouble for not controlling him.” He stepped out and went to get dressed.

“I know, I know. I just want you to know that if anything goes wrong, I will be there right with you.”

Hanzo brushed against Jesse’s side in silent thanks as he walked to the mirror. Straightening his tie, he took a deep breathe. “I cannot wait.”

* * *

 

Jesse dropped him off a block away and Hanzo found a side entrance to slip in- an unlocked window that lead into a maid’s room that was thankfully empty.

As soon as he entered the main room he felt a sharp edge. All around him were high profile or aspiring Talon associates. And in the center of the room was Uvina Ambrose herself with a young man on her arm that cut a sharp image, some young model innocently sent here to make connection for future shoots.

He slowly schmoozed his way towards them so it wasn’t immediately obvious what he was doing. Uvina noticed him anyway, her fuschia lips curling into a smile and she leaned over to whisper something to the young man on her arm. The model smiled and nodded before taking off towards the drink table that had other models standing around it.

He grabbed a flute of wine and braced himself for the inevitable.

Uvina’s hands wrapped themselves around his forearm. “You aren’t a model, but you sure are close to one.”

“How delightful.”

“You wouldn’t happen to know… a Nora by any chance, would you?”

And there it was. Nora was a fifty something year old woman who… promoted some of her favorite sugar babies to such extravagant events. She would keep a portion of any proceeds by a patron they found. He also just so happened to be wearing one of her pins. Winston would be absolutely gleeful.

“I do indeed. It would be my pleasure to spend time with you this evening if you wish.” He wanted to die.

She death gripped his arm between hers and spent the rest of the evening galivanting around with him. Once, he spotted the corridor that lead to her private offices, several guards standing in front of the hallway and he could see a few more at the door itself.

“He wouldn’t mind being a kept man, now would he?” A balding man said while motioned his champagne flute towards Hanzo. His round glasses glinted gold in bright lights. Uvina giggled and pressed her fuchsia lips against his white collar while giving his buttocks a light tap.

“Oh, I almost want to, he is so strapping.” She said as if he wasn’t there.

She was lucky that he was more concerned about how much money the shirt had been.

Fuchsia would never come out.

“You know, I never did get your rates, baby.” She said once the party was winding down. “I know Nora promotes a standard, but everyone sorta does their own thing.”

“Just the standard.”

“Excellent. What’s your number?”

* * *

 

“How was it?” Jesse asked as if he hadn’t been listening in the entire time.

Hanzo wordlessly passed him an entire plate of hors d’oeuvres he swiped from a server’s cart and went straight into the shower.

* * *

 

"I apologize for being late," Hanzo took a seat beside McCree, who snapped his fingers into the shape of a gun in greeting, "I did not wish to be here." 

Winston looked like he was about to chastise him before he sighed and asked how everything was coming along.

"In the last 24 hours I have been manhandled, my buttocks has been pinched several times, and fuschia lipstick has permanently stained the collar of my last white dress shirt. All of these things have been done by a 70 year old woman who thinks I am a sugar baby."

Jesse scooted over a cup of tea he hadn't seen before. It was one of his preferred teas based on the color and scent, and he thought about cowboy taking the time to sneak a few packets with him from the Gibraltar kitchen.

"I am sure that you would say it has been a successful mission so far."

He heard Genji's metallic snickers over the transmission.

"I realize that you must wish it were you Genji, but please remember that Winston had to pick someone with some skill in finesse. Not skills of the flesh."

"I don't envy you, brother. I'm just glad that you finally found someone your own age."

"You are a garbage can."

"And you're the toilet that can't flush properly on level A."

"You are the last piece of bread that has undoubtedly molded over by now. It is not even a center piece, but an end piece." He took a sip of the warm tea appreciatively. "The least desirable piece. Crust with no redeeming qualities." 

Soldier 76 leaned into the frame, effectively pushing Genji away. "Enough."

“Yes, I apologize.”

Winston gratefully angled the video feed back towards himself, “How, how is the mission going so far? I just wanted to check in that everything is alright with you two.”

“I enjoy your concern about my wellbeing. Do not worry, my dignity is still intact despite your efforts.” He almost quirked a smirk when he heard Jesse quietly laugh. “In all seriousness, Ambrose thinks I was sent by Nora, and has expressed interest at seeing my once more. I was unable to get into her office tonight because it is well guarded, and she was literally attached to my arm the entire night.”

Winston was indeed pleased with the information, “Did she mention when she wanted to see you next? If it isn’t for a while still it could be beneficial to think about infiltration with a less discrete method.”

“She implied soon. We would like to stay at least two additional days and then work from there.”

“Good, good. Do either of you have any other concerns?” At their silence, he nodded. “Alright, just call as soon as you may need back up. Winston, out.” And the connection went dead.

Jesse stood up and stretched, his back popping in several places. He grimaced, rolled his head and then dropped his arms back down to his sides. “Alrighty then, might as well get some shut eye.”

* * *

 

Later that night, Hanzo grabbed two of his sleeping pills. Jesse watched him with an eyebrow raised.

"Two?"

"Yes. I wish to be knocked out immediately."

It was a fair question. The tablets were given to him by Mercy after she discovered his insomnia and were more than what was on the commercial market.

“It’s just something that will help you sleep. If they don’t work, then we can move onto some different sleep aids.” She had said while giving him a checkup.

* * *

 

The next day Hanzo found a text inviting him to another, smaller party. The address was the same so Hanzo grabbed the flash drive that was a link up for Athena and tucked it into his pants pocket.

Today was going to be the day or so help him.

Hanzo plastered on a smile that didn't meet his eyes, and frankly didn't even meet his cheeks. It was the dull rehearsed smile of a man with fraction of his soul left. 

Uvina laughed at one of her business associates - 30s, male, not yet connected to anything illegal- and Hanzo stopped himself from slipping her arm out of his own for the third time that night.

It wasn’t until a few more hours went by that Uvina gave him an opening. She sighed and said, “I’m about ready to just explode, if you know what I mean.”

Hanzo leaped at the chance. "Why don't we go somewhere more private?" He asked, brushing his fingers across her knuckles. He died just a little bit inside. Faintly he heard Jesse say not to worry.

“Good idea,” She grinned, leading him towards the guarded hallway. The guards silently stepped aside, but they did nod at their employer. The other ones he had seen earlier stood in front of the elevator, and there was an awkward silence as they waited for the elevator to ping.

As soon as it slid open, Uvina aggressively pushed him into it. She brushed against him lightly.

"Is that a hors d’oeuvre or are you just already turned on?" 

It was the flash drive.

When the elevator finally stopped, she led him down an empty hallway until they came to yet another thick wooden door that had a finger print lock and a regular passcode lock on it. She tried to hide the passcode from him and then pushed him inside. The lights automatically turned on. Her computer was directly in front of him.

"So here we are. In your office. And now we are alone. And we have all the time in the world." 

They didn't really, but she didn't need to know that.

"Take your shirt off," she said while tugging at the black material. 

And he thought about the tattoo on his arm and how recognizable it was even if she hadn't recognized his face. Hanzo spilled his wine across the front of her dress. 

"Ah. How clumsy of me. My sincerest apologies"

He was not, in fact, sorry at all.

However, she was also nonplussed. She stripped out of the dress while muttering that it was going out of fashion anyway. It had been released a week ago.

“Is, is there not a more comfortable place for this?” He asked, itching to just plug his flash drive into her desktop. And. That sounded awful.

“How classy,” she purred, shifting her breasts in attempted seduction. He had never been limper. “I do have a small bed room connected to here if you want.”

“Why don’t you go ahead and make yourself comfortable?”

“I want you to give me a show then. I’ll pay extra.” And she walked to the left wall and a hidden door popped open.

Hurriedly, he plugged his flash drive into the back of her computer, and Athena's light began to glow. 

Almost as soon as he did so and started to walk towards the room trying to figure out what to do, loud slams echoed on the office door and Uvina ran, completely naked, to the door.

“What, what happened?” She yelled angrily at the guard outside while pulling a fresh dress on. The man was impossible to read with his eyes covered in sunglasses, but Hanzo could see the shocked horror in the lines of his body. He looked like a deer in headlights.

“Ah-Ah- I’m sorry Mistress, but there’s been a problem.”

And while mentally thanking Jesse, they were both lead up to the main house where the power was out. Several of the guests immediately railed at Uvina, and Hanzo barely made his escape before the old woman tried to grab him again.

* * *

 

“I need to go back.”

He didn’t cry.

* * *

 

They were in the middle of eating questionable street meat in the back of their dilapidated van when the flip-phone on Hanzo's belt started ringing. Impending doom settled on his shoulders. Mournfully he gave Jesse the last of his street taco and answered the phone.

"Hello?" He asked resignedly already knowing who it was.

McCree slipped on his headset to listen in on the conversation.

"I've got a itch that has your name all over it." 

He immediately felt the space between his eyebrows crease. 

"What are you wearing?" She asked. He could hear sounds that suspiciously sounded like a dress being hiked up. McCree covered his mouth with his hand, a hunted look in his eyes.

"I- I am still wearing my three-piece suit." He flashed a warning look at McCree as he slid against the back door of the van.

"Do you have any underwear on? I'd undo you so fast if we were together, hot stuff." The ruffling noises ceased and a snapping sound like elastic being pulled sounded. He didn't want to think about what their target was doing in her room. 

"My belt is securely on." Hanzo said haltingly. McCree was spasming so hard that the van itself was starting to shake. It looked like he ruptured his spleen because of how hard he had his arm wrapped around his stomach.

"Oh are you shy? I kinda like that. I'd wrap that belt around your throat."

McCree sounded like a suffocating squirrel. 

"Come on honey, tell me what you'd do to me."

"I suppose you would expect disrobement. Let... let me get my hands on your... mammary glands." 

He said it as blankly and automatically as he could manage. The line went silent.

McCree started to emit a single pitched wheeze as he struggled not to laugh. Hanzo hoped that he was suffocating on it. 

"Mistress Uvina, if I may, I am sure that you are not simply interested in phone sex."

A breathy laugh came through the line. "Straight forward now ain't you. I know Nora makes sure all of you only get paid for the straight forward things."

"Hm," Hanzo's lips twitched, "That is correct. Will that be a problem?" He thought about the now disposed of Nora. It would... only be a problem if their target decided to give her a call.

She made a clicking noise with her tongue. "Nah, nah honey. I can't say I'm scandalized. Come to my office tonight sweetheart. Go down the hall, and the second door on the right, the same place you were last night."

"I am going to hang up now." 

"When you come here, just wear your belt around your-"

"Do not contact me at this number again." 

"Let's touch our hot planks."

And Hanzo snapped the prepaid flip phone in half. 

McCree practically screamed. 

* * *

 

It wasn’t the booty call he imagined. He was quickly and forcefully ushered down into the same hallway from last time and let into her office without another word.

“I know this isn’t what you had in mind, but I want you to come with me to meet one of my business clients. He might have something a little extra that he could line up for you.”

“Ah. Who would this be?”

“Akande Ogundimu.” The old woman grabbed him around the waist with a deceptively iron grip and started to drag him outside. “And then after we can have sex. He seemed oddly interested when I was describing you.”

His skin crawled, the cool silk of his dress shirt not helping in any way. So he did what any reasonable person would do in his situation. 

"Ah, I seem to be in need of medical attention." He pretended like there wasn't the hilt of a letter opener sticking out from his thigh.

"I seem to have been stabbed. How clumsy of me."

"Oh, what the fuck," Uvina snapped as she forced him into her office. Her face curdled like lemon juice in milk and--- oh, that was what she smelled like. He felt some satisfaction on finally figuring it out. 

“Akande showed up by himself, ok?” She explained hurriedly, trying to get a grip on the letter opener while Hanzo kept it out of her reach. They looked like a merry-go-round.

He heard Jesse’s voice. “I just got a call from Winston. He says that Ambrose Cosmetics has been involved with Talon’s attempts to recreate the super soldier serum among some other side projects. Talon’s been contracting their labs out for Moira. A few of the sugar babies Uvina’s taken a mean liken have gone missin, but from what Winston could tell some descriptions of experiments match up to them. If Akande is there like she says, get out as soon as you can, however you can.”

 “I just need to- Stop moving!” She shrieked as her long, lacquered nails clawed at the silver letter opener. One hand gripped his buttocks.

“Enough,” Hanzo reached towards the woman’s neck. “I have been fondled enough.” And Uvina dropped to the floor passed out.

He hurriedly pulled the flash drive out of her computer, Athena’s light fading away as her computerized voice intoned that the doors had been locked. A panic room in a mansion, Akande and Talon right outside. He had been in worse situations.

The doors had a raised black pad on them where a regular lock would have ordinarily been. A bright red light stared back at him, taunting him for his lack of keycards. His eyes wandered to Uvina’s limp form and not for the first time cursed leaving his bow behind.

* * *

 

It was his luck on this mission that not a few seconds later, Akande Ogundimu himself busted the panic room’s doors down.

“Hanzo,” Akande said blandly, as if he had not just witnessed a deadly assassin rifling through an old woman’s dress. “Taking up a new past time I see. Tell me, is there anything more pedestrian that Overwatch is wasting your talents on?”

“If you just accepted Talon’s generous offer, you would not have to stoop so low. You could have the Shimada-gumi under your control once more, at every beck and call, imagine leading your brethren into an era of unparalleled flawlessness. What more could Talon give you?”

In the time that Hanzo blocked Akande’s speech out, he had already wrapped his fingertips around Uvina’s keycard- now useless as it was. From where he was crouched, he knew that Doomfist could not see the silver sticking out from his thigh. His other hand wrapped around the hilt.

“What could I give you? Are these not things that have been important to you?” The other man held out his flesh hand towards Hanzo, but all he could think of was the warm glow of a fire, the scent of campfire smoke as the last threads of dusk knitted together horizon and night sky, and the soft leather of a cowboy hat.

He stabbed the letter opener into the space where Doomfist’s metal shoulder met flesh right as Jesse fired twice into Doomfist’s back. “There are more important things to me now.” And Hanzo slammed the door shut behind the hoarse scream as they ran towards the maids’ quarters. Jesse tipped his hat at a screaming young woman while snapping off a few rounds behind them at body guards who were too late to the draw.

“Winston says that Tracer’s comin for us, just need to make outta here.” Jesse explained as they vanished from the mansion, a handful of Talon operatives tailing them through the alleys. Two grunted as bullets found them.

They found their hunk of junk van quickly enough that they peeled out long before the last three agents caught up to them by foot.

Hanzo held up the flash drive in victory.

**Author's Note:**

> Deleted Scenes/ Bloopers:
> 
> "McCree."
> 
> "I will NOT shave."
> 
> Winston gave his best "I-told-you-so" look.
> 
> \--
> 
> Hanzo Shimada was granite among men. He could weather the worst experiences thrown at him- including an 80 year old makeup mogul. A withered hand reached towards his pectoral. He briefly considered the finer points of karma.
> 
> \--  
> Hanzo assembled Stormbow in the faux leather passenger seat that had yellow cushion spilling out everywhere. He didn’t want to know how Winston found it.
> 
> As they left suburbia he noticed three black cars speeding after them. Gun shots echoed in their wake and one of the back windows shattered. Manually cranking the window down, Hanzo leaned out of the window, Jesse holding onto his pants with one hand while driving, and fired a scatter arrow onto the road. The metal shards of the arrowhead peppered the road like caltrops, just managing to cause the tires of one car to pop. It slid off the road into a ditch with a solid, unforgiving crunch. 
> 
> He had to quickly duck back into the van to avoid a burst of shots. 
> 
> “It would be real nice if you could wrap it up,” Jesse said, swerving to avoid a car trying to ram them. They both ducked to avoid a bullet that ripped its way through where their heads would have been. Jesse blindly fired out his window.  
> Biting his lip, Hanzo fired again. A driver slumped over the steering wheel and the car buried itself into the third vehicle. Together they hit an outcrop before the inevitable explosion.


End file.
